- January 29, 2022:
Before I became a Christian my dominant interest was in music. Not as a musician..but just the powerful meaning and energy involved with music. Though I tried, I could not play a tune on a guitar if my life depended on it. I have battled with issues of being bi-polar as long as I can remember. Music calmed my soul and seemed to help me get by. But that was all it did: Help me get by. No direction...no real practical value ....but a placebo just to help me get by in a life that was a struggle. My dad had died, my mom had nervous breakdowns all the time, and I forged her name to a check to buy food for me and my brother while she was in the hospital...and I only mention that because that brought me to the attention of authorities. As a 17 year old I saw the inside of a jail cell for the first time. An experience I never wanted to repeat (and something I rarely, if ever, talk about). Having memorized the words to "Hold Your Head Up" or other songs had no long term value. I started to wonder if there was a God and if He is there....where is He? I was philosophically stupid but intellectually stimulated and, being bored, I quit high school early and got scores high enough to get me into a Tech college. When my high school class was graduating I was finishing my first semester of college. My pursuit of the God who is there began.
In the end, worship is a response to what we value most. And whatever it is that we worship will change us. Remaining somewhat skeptical.... but walking away from atheism was a life changer for me. Lots of great things happened after that...but, so as to not paint an unrealistic picture of reality, life is often loaded and layered with problems. That which we worship is what we turn to during those times. Power, money, sex, etc have been warring against mans relationship with God since Eden. We have such a short time here on earth to face and deal with these things.
It was Mother Teresa who once said: "You will never know God is all you need until He is all you have." Amen