Proverbs 13

==proverbs 13:1-3:

Proverbs 13:1-3:
A wise son heeds his father’s instruction, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. 
2 A man shall eat well by the fruit of his mouth, But the soul of the unfaithful feeds on violence.
3 He who guards his mouth preserves his life. But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.

Proverbs 13:4:
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, but the soul of the diligent is made fat.

Here is, 1. The misery and shame of the slothful. See how foolish and absurd they are; they desire the gains which the diligent get, but they hate the pains which the diligent take; they covet every thing that is to be coveted, but will do nothing that is to be done; and therefore it follows, They have nothing; for he that will not labour let him hunger, and let him not eat, 2 Thess. 3:10. The desire of the slothful, which should be his excitement, is his torment, which should make him busy, makes him always uneasy, and is really a greater toil to him than labour would be. 2. The happiness and honour of the diligent: Their soul shall be made fat; they shall have abundance, and shall have the comfortable enjoyment of it, and the more for its being the fruit of their diligence. This is especially true in spiritual affairs. Those that rest in idle wishes know not what the advantages of religion are; whereas those that take pains in the service of God find both the pleasure and profit of it. ---Mathew Henry

He desires knowledge, but does not care to be at any pains to get it, and so has it not; he desires riches, but chooses not to make use of the means, to be diligent and industrious, and so he is without them; he desires to wear good clothes and rich raiment, but is unwilling to labour for them, and therefore is clothed with rags; he desires food, and plenty of it, but refuses to work for it; and he that will not work should not eat, and therefore he has it not, but starves and famishes: and, in spiritual things, the sluggard desires heaven and happiness, but does not care to do the duties of religion; he would die the death of the righteous, but is unwilling to live his life; to abstain from sin, and live soberly and righteously, is too hard service for him; he does not choose to do or suffer anything for the cause of Christ and true religion. Jarchi’s note is, that
“in the future state he shall see the glory of the wise man, and desire it; but shall not attain to it;”
but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat; become rich; increase in temporal things, and have great plenty and prosperity; and so, in spiritual matters, such who are diligent in the use of means, constantly attend on the word and ordinances, and labour for the meat which endures to everlasting life; such are filled and satisfied, as with marrow and fatness; and become fat and flourishing, and fruitful in every good word and work; and shall at last arrive to that state where there will be no more hunger and thirst.” -John Gill

​The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing; literally, and nothing is there—he gains nothing (Pro. 14:6; Pro. 20:4). He has the wish, but not the will, and the empty wish without corresponding exertion is useless (Pro. 21:25, etc.). Vulgate, “The indolent wishers, and wishes not;” he wishes for something, but he wishes not for the labour of getting it; he would like the result, but he hates the process by which the result is to be obtained. Septuagint, “In desires every idle man is occupied;” his mind is fixed wholly on aimless wishes, not on action. Shall be made fat (Pro. 11:25); Septuagint, “The hands of the valiant are fully occupied (ἐν ἐπιμελείᾳ).” -Pulpit Commentary

Proverbs 13:5-11:
A righteous man hates lying, But a wicked man is loathsome and comes to shame.
6 Righteousness guards him whose way is blameless, But wickedness overthrows the sinner.
 7 There is one who makes himself rich, yet has nothing; And one who makes himself poor, yet has great riches.
8 The ransom of a man’s life is his riches, But the poor does not hear rebuke.
9 The light of the righteous rejoices, But the lamp of the wicked will be put out.
10 By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well-advised is wisdom.
11 Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, But he who gathers by labor will increase.

Proverbs 13:12:
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick.” When your dreams do not come true, it is easy to become depressed. But notice, the hope is not necessarily failed. It is only deferred. The Hebrew word in this place means “to drag.”

 There’s a simple contrast at work. The fulfilled desire is very good, whereas the deferred hope was sad. I think there’s something else going on, though, and I think the Eden imagery is an important clue. You see, Adam and Eve’s sin was a sin of false hope. Instead of trusting in God’s timing and being patient and content with His plan, they decided to take the object of their desire, the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. Genesis 3:6 says that this fruit was “desirable,” and so we can see that the original sin was a false desire fulfilled.   --Wedgewords

​There are moments when we have hoped for something for so long that we begin to doubt whether it will ever come to pass. Among the characters in the story of Jesus’ birth, we know one figure had actually lost hope. As Zechariah and his wife had grown old but without children, Zechariah had come to believe parenthood was an impossibility for them. So profound was his loss of hope on this point that he even doubted the words of the angelic messenger who informed him directly that Elizabeth would soon conceive (Luke 1:18). -Jeffery M Leonard

 According to Strong’s Bible Dictionary, deferred means to “delay” or “draw out”.  That implies that the thing hoped for is probable and will eventually come to pass.  God’s promises are true, but His timetable is rarely ours.  Hebrews 11:1 reads, “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”  We can be sure of what we hope for even when it remains unseen if God, Himself, promises it to us.  Hope is displaced when we assume that God will do something for us merely because He has done it for others.  We can be full of hope and excitement one minute when it looks like our desires will be fulfilled, and emotionally dashed on the rocks the next as we realize that little is changed or that the situation has gotten worse.

​

A.)  Hope

1.)  Defined: always translated “hope”… from a word that means “to wait for; hope for; expectation of a positive future prospect”
a.)  The term is generic enough to include ALL the hopes and dreams and wishes that enter our hearts.
b.)  It speaks of all the inner longing and hungering of our soul for something better… an expectation of good for the future...

2.)  Hope is a wonderful thing…
a.)  Hope is encouraging… uplifting…
b.)  It is GOOD to have a “bright hope for tomorrow”
c.)  In fact, spiritually, we have a BLESSED hope – the coming of Christ!
d.)  When focused on a good hope for tomorrow, we are encouraged and motivated to endure through today’s trials. Hope springs eternal! Life is good!
e.)  When we give up on hope… we sink into discouragement… and all is dark and dreary… life is miserable.

3.)  We all have hopes… hopes that keep us going… hopes of a better tomorrow…
a.)  hopes for our kids… to have wisdom; to walk with the Lord; to make sensible decisions; to turn out right; to find a godly spouse; to do well in their careers…
b.)  hopes for this assembly… for unity; growth; spiritual strength;
c.)  hopes for the salvation of souls… friends; family; neighbors; spouse; co workers;
d.)  hopes for doing well at school…
e.)  for promotion at work…
f.)   hopes of finding a mate…
g.)  for others, their hope is having a baby…
h.) for buying a house… to fix up a house; to pay off a house…
i.)   for losing weight…for getting physically fit… for a disease to remain in remission…
j.)   for finishing college… for landing a good job
k.)  for restoring a broken relationship…
l.)   Hope for a backslidden believer to return to the Lord…
m.)                hopes for getting victory over a besetting sin…
n.) Hopes for getting out of debt… 

4.)  The proverb is not speaking about any one particular KIND of hope… but rather is general enough to include ALL kinds of hopes that reside in the human breast… hopes that are common to man.
5.)  Heb. 6:18-20 - in the spiritual realm, CHRIST is our hope…
a.)  He is the hope of glory…
b.)  As our hope He is the anchor of our soul… which gives stability in the rough seas of earthly life… until we reach our eternal home in glory.
c.)  He is our BLESSED hope… a truly bright hope for tomorrow.
d.)  It is HE who keeps us going today… otherwise, we might grow weary and quit!
e.)  We all NEED hope… an expectation of good to come… light at the end of the tunnel…

B.)  Hope Deferred

1.)  Deferred: the basic meaning relates to linear motion… something being dragged along… born along…
a.)  It is translated in many different ways in the OT… according to the context.
b.)  Here it speaks of that which has been drawn out, dragged out; goes on an on… to be postponed, be deferred; put off…

2.)  Hope deferred…
a.)  Bright hope for tomorrow is a wonderful thing… but when tomorrow comes… and the next day, and the next day – and our hopes never seem any closer to fruition… there comes a point when we no longer HAVE good expectations for tomorrow…
b.)  We have all been there – we have our heart set on something… that looks like it might come to pass… but it doesn’t… time goes on and opportunity is lost…
c.)  Our hopes are dashed…
d.)  There sometimes comes a point where we stop hoping… when it seems fruitless… pointless to continue to hope for that which seems to elude us…

3.)  Examples of hope deferred…
a.)  We had our heart set on getting that big promotion at work… and Fred got the job instead of you…
b.)  We had hoped and dreamed that this certain relationship would develop into marriage… and our hopes are dashed… she goes off with someone else…
c.)  We had hoped for our son to do well at college, and after his first year he quits…
d.)  We had hoped that this new medication would put our disease into remission – only to discover that it didn’t work and the disease has returned…
e.)  We had hoped that our wayward son would return to the Lord, but instead he moves in with his girlfriend and becomes a Unitarian…
f.)   Perhaps a woman had longed to have a child and is told that she will not be able to…
g.)  We had hoped to pay off our loans and get out of debt, but another huge, unexpected expense comes along…
h.) All too often in life we discover that the things we had such bright and vibrant hope for… after time, seem so elusive.

C.)  Maketh the Heart Sick

1.)  Sick:
2.)  When the heart becomes “sick” in this sense, it means that the man becomes discouraged… disappointed… despairing that his hopes may NEVER be realized.
3.)  That bright, encouraging, uplifting hope can soon turn to bitterness… the bubble of anticipation is popped… our hopes dashed… our hearts become “sick.”
4.)  We all know that feeling… all too well. Heart sick…
5.)  And to compound it – we have prayed and prayed for our hope to be realized… but nothing happens… the heart becomes sick over it.

But when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life.  (SOURCE: Salem Bible)

​Proverbs 13:13-17:
13 He who despises the word will be destroyed,
But he who fears the commandment will be rewarded.
14 The law of the wise is a fountain of life,
To turn one away from the snares of death.
15 Good understanding gains favor,
But the way of the unfaithful is hard.
16 Every prudent man acts with knowledge,
But a fool lays open his folly.
17 A wicked messenger falls into trouble,
But a faithful ambassador brings health.

​​“They who are not induced to believe and live as they ought by those discoveries which God hath made in Scriptures would stand out against any evidence whatever, even that of a messenger sent express from the other world.”
Francis Atterbury (1663-1732)

David Mathis

​God himself is the source of wisdom. Thus, it is the fool who says in his heart there is no God (Psalm 14:1; 53:1), and Proverbs gives us the refrain, “the fear of the Lᴏʀᴅ is the beginning of wisdom” (Proverbs 1:7; 2:5; 8:13; 9:10; 15:33). True wisdom begins with God and has its constant source and supply in God. So, says Tremper Longman, Proverbs teaches us that “relationship precedes ethics” (Intro to the OT, 269).
According to Longman, “wise” is the biblical word to “describe the person who navigates life well” (How to Read Proverbs, 13). Wisdom is the skill of living. It is a practical knowledge that helps one know how to act and how to speak in different situations. Wisdom entails the ability to avoid problems, and the skill to handle them when they present themselves. Wisdom also includes the ability to interpret other people’s speech and writing in order to react correctly to what they are saying to us.
Wisdom is not intelligence pure and simple. . . . Biblical wisdom is much closer to the idea of emotional intelligence than it is to Intelligence Quotient. Wisdom is a skill, a “knowing how”; it is not raw intellect, a “knowing that.” (14–16)
The biblical concept of wisdom is, in large measure, analogous with the idea of maturity. The wise person is one who is mature in his knowledge of God — based on God’s self-revelation — as well as his understanding of himself and his surroundings. The wise person is able to “navigate life well,” in the real world, as defined by God in the Scriptures.

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==proverbs 13:18-19:

​​ Poverty and shame will come to him who disdains correction,
But he who regards a rebuke will be honored.
19 A desire accomplished is sweet to the soul,
But it is an abomination to fools to depart from evil.

==proverbs 13:20:

​20 He who walks with wise men will be wise,
But the companion of fools will be destroyed.

A fool is someone who rejects God and spiritual matters.

​If you get to choose your school, say high school or college, don’t choose a school because of its popularity or its library or its sports teams or its size or its parties. Choose it because of the wisdom of its faculty. Choose teachers, not courses; choose teachers, not schools. Proverbs 13:20 says, “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise.”  --John Piper

Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.” --1 Corinthians 15:33

​The most important step a parent can take is to help a child select the right group of peers. For better and for worse, your children will be influenced by the people they associate with. While the Bible doesn’t use the term “peer contagion,” it has quite a lot to say about both the company we keep and avoiding harmful influences:
“Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm” (Prov. 13:20).
“My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them” (Prov. 1:10).
“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company ruins good morals’” (1 Cor. 15:33).
We can’t completely control who will they be exposed to, of course, but whenever possible, parents should know their child’s peer group. And as much as we can, we should choose those they will spend their time with, both online and also in person.  --Joe Carter

​Don’t argue in front of other people. Bring a trusted professional counselor into the mix, but don’t complain about your spouse to your friends. And if your friends are people who trash their spouses (to their face or behind their back), get new friends. The writer of Proverbs might well have had married couples in mind when he dished up this pointed advice: “Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces” (Proverbs 13:20).  --Jodie Berndt

January 11, 2024: Riva Kent wrote: ​Trees depend on their environment for their well-being; they get their nutrients, water, and vital minerals from the soil they're planted in. In rich, fertile soil, trees thrive because they have all they need to grow strong and healthy. If they're planted in poor-quality soil, they won’t get enough nutrients and their growth may be stunted. The same is true for humans; our surroundings significantly influence our growth and development. The environments that we place ourselves in, whether it’s where we live, work, or who we interact with, play a pivotal role in shaping us. As it says in Proverbs (13:20) "One who walks with the wise will become wise, while one who associates with fools will suffer." When we place ourselves in positive environments and spend time with supportive individuals who inspire us to be our best, we are more likely to flourish and succeed.

July 7, 2024: ​Newsday reported: A In perfect circumstances, friendships would continue after a successful candidacy, but the ruthless glare of political presence and unforgiving demands of public accountability inevitably become a third guest at every table.
For politicians, the risk of an error by their friends is that they become tainted by the implications of the company they choose to keep.
For their friends, the demands placed on casual fraternity are suddenly weighted by expectations that can challenge the most robust of friendships.
Proverbs 13:20 offers this advice: "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed." A biblical aphorism that's popularly restated as: "Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are."
But the social frameworks of camaraderie fly in the face of political expediency, which exerts forces that distort the transactions on which friendship is based. What happens when friends become constituents?
That's a reality that the career politician must navigate by balancing action and emotion with the unforgiving demands of public transparency.

February 9, 2020: Notable Link: ​Wise Guys Pizzeria: Longtime partners keep business in the family
​The pair said they strive to create a family-friendly atmosphere at Wise Guys, while the business is centered on pizza, pasta, premium drafts, prompt delivery, purpose, people and Proverbs 13:20, which states whoever walks with the wise will become wise.

April 16, 2020: ​Uganda Christian News reported: Dr. Sempebwa who doubles as the co-founder of legendary gospel group Limit-X urged that cultivating real life relationships with people who have already accomplished your goals helps you learn from the mistakes they’ve made along the way and the tricks and tips to enable you reach your goals faster.
The father of five children said it is okay to drop toxic friendships or spend less time with people that add no value to your life.
“Everybody we hook up with is taking us somewhere, either towards the man or woman we are supposed to be, or regressing us from that man or woman we’re supposed to be,” he said.
Dr. Sempebwa revealed that having the right life coach “saved me 10 years.”
“All successful people, they mind their circle. They care who’s around them,” he explained. “We need people that are going to help us walk through life to do what God’s called us to do. Solomon, in Proverbs 13: 20 says ‘he who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will be destroyed.’ Paid said, “bad company corrupts.” (1 Corinthians 15:33).”​“We’re not designed in a way that we have all the time to live our lives, make mistakes, learn from them, implement the lessons, and then have time left over. So, we need coaches,” he said.
Dr Sempebwa however cautioned: “Not everybody who’s done more than you can coach you. Not everybody who is richer or more powerful than you can coach you. Some people don’t know how to coach. Some people don’t know how to transfer knowledge.”
On ways to easily identify the right people in life, Dr Sempebwa shared real-life experiences, relevant Scripture, and God-given insights, encouraging listeners to give themselves permission and time.
“Look for that person who has [conquered] the mountain you want to climb. It’s really important and I’ve done that in my marriage… Find someone who has gone where you want to go. Look for people who are not ‘pretty.’ Look for people who are willing to show you their scars,” he said.

January 19, 2019: ​Greg Morse wrote: Surprisingly, some young men today fill their friend group with mostly women. If his inner circle consists of females, this signals unhealth. If few men (or none) know him in his local church, this waves a warning flag. If he does have friends, what are they like? A companion of fools will suffer harm, just as a woman who dates a man with a companion of fools (Proverbs 13:20). If he has no thoughts of fellowship with men, no desire for older men to disciple him, no males who know him and from whom he draws strength (Ecclesiastes 4:12), he proves that he — barring unique circumstances — is unsuitable at present to lead your daughter.
If he does have close friends, you could ask to speak to one who can tell you more about this man’s character.

October 27, 2018: ​Christian Post reported: Surprisingly, some young men today fill their friend group with mostly women. If his inner circle consists of females, this signals unhealth. If few men (or none) know him in his local church, this waves a warning flag. If he does have friends, what are they like? A companion of fools will suffer harm, just as a woman who dates a man with a companion of fools (Proverbs 13:20). If he has no thoughts of fellowship with men, no desire for older men to disciple him, no males who know him and from whom he draws strength (Ecclesiastes 4:12), he proves that he — barring unique circumstances — is unsuitable at present to lead your daughter.
If he does have close friends, you could ask to speak to one who can tell you more about this man’s character.

January 10, 2017: ​Mark Cook wrote: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s famous Sherlock character is a portrayal of the war within the man of modernity. Birthed out of the onslaught of the Enlightenment, Sherlock represents the tremendous gains that mankind had made in that era, depicting the expanding belief that everything can be explained. His heightened intelligence isn’t without its dark side, though. While he notices even the slightest clues like a scientist looking through a microscope, he is as bad at relationships as he is good at solving mysteries.
This fault line is precisely where so many of us find ourselves in the 21st century. In the increasing gains we’ve made technologically as a society, where we have information at our fingertips, we are largely unschooled in how to maintain and grow healthy relationships. Proverbs 13:20 says: “Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise,” and Proverbs 24:3 affirms: “by wisdom a house is built.”
In the biblical sense, wisdom is different than knowledge. While knowledge is helpful and profitable for life, when disconnected from wisdom it loses its power. This is why Sherlock is such a compelling character. He possesses a supremely keen mind, but lacks wisdom in daily life. He can solve the most confounding mysteries but be totally stumped by relational problems.

March 26, 2013: ​Trent Toone wrote: We are all marinating in something. That's the idea behind author and speaker John Bytheway's latest talk on CD, "The Parable of the Marinade: A Recipe for a Delicious Life." ​Just as soaking chicken in marinade before a barbecue can increase its flavor, "marinading" in great music, positive feelings, good literature and uplifting company can enrich a person's life. "Whether we realize it or not, or whether we believe it or not, we are all marinating in something," Bytheway said in the 56-minute talk. "You will eventually become what you surround yourself with. ... If the proverb is true, 'He who walketh with wise men shall be wise' (Proverbs 13:20), wouldn't we want to surround ourselves with the very best in friends, music, media and so forth?"

November 6, 2013:  National Center for Family-Integrated Churches, Adam McManus wrote: Surprisingly, some young men today fill their friend group with mostly women. If his inner circle consists of females, this signals unhealth. If few men (or none) know him in his local church, this waves a warning flag. If he does have friends, what are they like? A companion of fools will suffer harm, just as a woman who dates a man with a companion of fools (Proverbs 13:20). If he has no thoughts of fellowship with men, no desire for older men to disciple him, no males who know him and from whom he draws strength (Ecclesiastes 4:12), he proves that he — barring unique circumstances — is unsuitable at present to lead your daughter. If he does have close friends, you could ask to speak to one who can tell you more about this man’s character.

==proverbs 13:21-22:

21 Evil pursues sinners,
But to the righteous, good shall be repaid.
22 A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children,
But the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.

==proverbs 13:23:

23 Much food is in the fallow ground of the poor,
And for lack of justice there is waste

​Since Solomon was a king, and had considerable power while he reigned, one would expect Proverbs to be filled with advice on how kings can make life easier for the poor. There are some hints that a king could help the poor simply by enforcing justice. Thus: “The fallow ground of the poor would yield much food, but it is swept away through injustice” (Proverbs 13:23 ESV). And there are a few statements that talk about a ruler’s responsibilities: “A righteous man knows the rights of the poor; a wicked man does not understand such knowledge” (29:7). Or: “If a king faithfully judges the poor, his throne will be established forever” (29:14). -Mark Horne

​‘Lord God, the fields of this fair earth and of our fair land are your fields. Even when the weather is clement and favourable and abundant fruits of the land ripen, injustice sweeps them away, and families both at home and abroad suffer inequality and injustice. Some even hunger. As stewards of your creation, help us to share the fruits of your bounty, so that all your family may benefit from your gracious gifts. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen’. - Lester D Scott
​

"Much food is in the tillage of the poor." Here we have the case of a man naturally poor described; his cultivation of the soil as to his main object and purpose. It is as though it ran thus: Here is a poor man, with a patch of ground allotted to him. What is his object in tilling that ground? It is that he may procure food. The rich man has his parks and pleasure-grounds; he may ornament his beds and borders with shrubs and flowers; food is not his object; he can purchase that in the market. But the poor labourer must till his patch of ground: for out of that patch food is to come for his wife and family. He cannot afford any place for flowers and ornamental shrubs; he must devote every inch of his ground to one sole purpose, that of food; and he must employ all his care and industry to obtain out of it as much food as he possibly can.
And yet with all his industry, all his care, and all his attention, "there is that which is destroyed for want of judgment." He may not possess agricultural skill; he may overcrop his ground; he may not use sufficient or proper manure; or "from want of judgment," his wife or family may waste the food which the ground produces. For "want of judgment," therefore in the cultivator, or in the cultivator s family, "there is that is destroyed;" and thus, with all the labour and industry expended on this patch of ground, the result is not what might have been expected from one who has food for his object; "there is that is destroyed for the want of judgment." This seems to me to be the literal meaning of the passage; and this is the ground-work upon which I shall build, as the Lord may enable me, a spiritual and experimental interpretation.
​-Preached at Trinity Chapel, Trinity Street, Southwark, on Thursday Evening, July 26, 1849.

​​Proverbs 13:24:​
24 He who spares his rod hates his son,
But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

This is not a purely Old Testament attitude: it is expounded more fully in Hebrews 12:5-11. The latter passage draws more attention to the imperfect motives of human fathers, and Ephesians 6:4 warns against undue severity; but the obligation remains.

​Proverbs 13:25:​
25 The righteous eats to the satisfying of his soul,
But the stomach of the wicked shall be in want