Ephesians 4

EPHESIANS 4:1:
I THEREFORE, THE PRISONER OF THE LORD, BESEECH YOU THAT YE WALK WORTHY OF THE VOCATION WHEREWITH YE ARE CALLED,

Paul spent three chapters spelling out in great detail all that God did for us, freely by His grace. Now he brings a call to live rightly, but only after explaining what God did for us.

Ephesians 4:7:
But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.

The word "but" is used to show that there is a difference between that which is common to all members of the royal family (one Lord, one faith) and that which differentiates among believers. Each individual Christian is given a unique capacity, by grace, to function and grow as a Christian and to produce as a member of the Body of Christ. The words "unto every one", or "unto each one" takes into consideration the differences among a wide variety of believers

Ephesians 4:15:
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.

Some conversations have a lot of truth but very little love. Other conversations have a lot love and affection, but very little truth. The biblical ideal is that we have both things.

“The riches of God’s word should not be hoarded as a private treasure. This practical, powerful book challenges believers to allow Scripture’s healing balm to flow naturally into our relationships and conversations. God’s words matter more and accomplish more than our own. When the teaching of the Bible permeates our own thoughts, we can gently and powerfully share strengthening truth with one another.”
―Deborah Young, Chief Curriculum Officer, Bible Study Fellowship

Not only does prayer impact your “self-talk,” prayer effects what you say to others and how you say it. Talking to God empowers you to boldly speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Your communication with God reflects itself in your communication with others (Colossians 4:6). If your prayers are one-way where you talk, and God listens, then you may struggle to listen to others and allow them to speak without interruption. The continual practice of listening, not just talking, to God strengthens your ability to listen to others.
After teaching his disciples about prayer, Jesus, the perfect pattern, taught his disciples to speak in faith to the situations in their lives, which appeared to be mountains. He reminded them of the power of their words and the ability that they had to create the lives that they desired and deserved. You have that same authority to drown the mountains of your life in the sea of God’s presence.
“…If anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them (Mark 11:23).”

Ephesians 4:17:
Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds.

Romans 8:7-8 – Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. So then, those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

The term futility means “failing to produce the desired results, never succeeding.” No matter what seems to happen, it is always futile, meaningless, and unsuccessful.

Those who have a futile mind are described as those who see the things of God as foolishness. According to 1 Corinthians 2:14 the natural man (with his futile mind) cannot know or receive the things of God because in order to partake of those things we must have spiritual discernment. Likewise Colossians 2:18 tells us that the futile mind of fallen men is vainly puffed up, full of falsehood, and deceptive. It is the fallen mind that tries to cheat us out of our eternal reward.
-Time In The Word; timeintheword.org

TPaul makes reference to the unsaved world around the believers, that some were professing to be believers in Christ as Lord, but their own conduct contradicted this statement. He then tells them (and us) the primary reason why they were acting as the Gentiles do, due to the “futility of their thinking”. The Greek word “futility” here is matiaos, a word borrowed from the Hebrew language, literally meaning “vain”. This word vain contains within it two different connotations, it can mean futile, but can also mean proud. We see, then, why Paul chooses this particular word, because his basic idea is that proud thinking is futile thinking. The fundamental problem here, then, is in one’s “thinking”, which Paul refers to as proud. This proud thinking is thinking like those who do not know Christ, thinking which basically concludes that “I” will decide what is true or not, what is right or wrong, rather than submit to what God says is true or false, right or wrong. This proud thinking is futile, then, because it results in a “darkened understanding” (verse 18).
--Pure Spiritual Milk;https://www.purespiritualmilk.com/futility-thinking-ephesians-417-19/

Paul writes, not as you and I might write, but with the very authority of Christ Jesus. Paul ‘testifies in the Lord’. He does not speak on his own authority, but as one who is a prisoner of the Lord and speaks with the authority of the Lord. Paul is able to speak with such authority because the message, the gospel, does not originate with him. As Paul writes elsewhere,

Galatians 1:11–12
11For I would have you know, brothers, that the gospel that was preached by me is not man’s gospel. 12For I did not receive it from any man, nor was I taught it, but I received it through a revelation of Jesus Christ.

We would do well to remember this each time we open the Bible. The words we read do not originate with the human authors. Rather, as Paul assures us elsewhere, ‘All scripture is breathed out by God’ (2 Timothy 3:16
Specifically, we would do well to remember that as Paul pens chapters four through to six, he writes in such a way that his words can, and indeed should, be received as the very Word of God.

Ephesians 4:25-27:
Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another.
26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath,
27 nor give place to the devil.

After cautioning us not to let our anger simmer overnight, Paul says, "Neither give place to the devil." The word translated place here is the Greek word topos. This word might look familiar to you even in its original form. It's at the root of English words like topography, and refers to the ground or a specific spot or location.
So giving place to Satan in our lives is giving him a ground, a "foothold" according to the New International Version of the Bible, an "opportunity" (NASB and Revised Standard Version). a "chance" (Today's English Version)> On the other side, one commentator describes Paul's admonition as allowing the devil "no leeway...no room to move." ----Jim Logan "Reclaiming Surrendered Ground" p. 33

Ephesians 4:25-32:
25 Therefore, putting away lying, “Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,” for we are members of one another. 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you

“It does not matter how small the sins are, provided that their cumulative effect is to edge the man away from the Light. … Murder is no better than cards if cards can do the trick. Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.” -Screwtap

Paul says in Romans 12:19-21 to give place for God’s wrath. In other words, Scripture teaches that anger is too hot for humans to handle, and so we should leave all anger, vengeance, and retaliation up to God....He was righteously indignant about the terrible sins of the people of Nineveh. They were horrible people. But his anger got the upper hand when Jonah failed to preach the Ninevites the whole message God had given for him to preach. And then Jonah, out of spiteful anger, settled down to watch the fireworks show, which never happened. And then Jonah got mad at God too [SOURCE: Redeeming God]

Last night, things went south at our house. Feelings were hurt, and it all started with a few sarcastic comments. Our kids started out joking, but then it went too far.
And why am I surprised? Sarcasm is our society’s natural pose. It’s all over media, tv shows, sitcoms, in the news and in politics.
One psychologist calls it, “The language of the 21st century.” Another linguist stated, ”It’s practically our primary language.” It’s a trend I see leaving everyone in its wake wounded. And then we wonder why people around us are hurting.
The Greek word for sarcasm is “sarkazein,” which means to tear flesh like dogs. It is defined as being “marked by bitterness and a power or will to cut or sting. [It] implies an intentional inflicting of pain by deriding, taunting, or ridiculing.” (Merriam Webster Dictionary.)
Sarcastic joking may seem funny, but it has an element of truth that leaves a wound. I often quote the verse to my kids, “Even in laughter the heart may ache” Proverbs 14:13.
It might be clever. It might even make you laugh. But so often, the words hurt and chip away at our loved one’s insecurities. Sarcasm doesn’t encourage, but rather condemns and sets an ill tone that infects our homes. And if your family is anything like ours, it might start out small but often escalates.
Following Scripture in how we communicate is the only way to rise above the raging waters of sarcasm. -Marilyn Rhoads; Grace Marriage

We should be truthful in speaking of our past achievements in our particular vocation. God does not ask us to understate the facts, but neither does He want us to overrate our achievements of our talents, either in thought or in speech.
We are also to be truthful in our business affairs. All misrepresentations of the quality of our merchandise, all padding of expenses accounts, all forging of checks and legal documents, and all unjust alterations of accounts are sins of untruthfulness and indicate lack of proper conduct. The farmer who puts his spoiled wheat between two layers of good wheat when he takes it to the market, or the fruit grower who puts his best fruit on top of what may be bruised, are dishonest. The tourist who misrepresents an item that is subject to duty on entering the country and the taxpayer who does not supply the proper receipts are dishonest.
Conducting ourselves in the right way also includes honesty and integrity in dealing with others. Employers in business are to give proper wages for work done, while employees are to put in a full hour’s honest labor for the wages they receive. Be people who can be trusted to tell the truth – always. --Billy Graham

Ephesians 4:29:
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear

As men and women created in the image of a speaking God, our words have great capacity to build up or tear down. What we say or don’t say matters. But that raises a question. If, as Jesus says, we will give an account for every careless word; and if, as Paul says, all our speech is to be gracious and good for building others up – is it a sin to small talk? Is conversation about the weather or sports or any other insignificant topic an absolute waste of time?
I know – this might sound like hyper-spirituality. But as apparently small an area of life as it is, our view of small talk is significant. Because it’s the most mundane area of our conversation it reveals much about how we think about all conversation. Or, to put it another way, it’s the place where we’re most likely to have our guard down, and therefore the one that shows what we really think about our words. We can boil it down to one question: does your small talk build walls or bridges?
The difference is not so much in what’s said, but why it’s said. Building walls is when your conversation about the latest sports news or the weather is just a means of keeping someone at arm’s length. It might be because you don’t really care about them – at the precise moment of your conversation, baseball is more important to you than what’s going on in your neighbor’s life. It might be because you’re afraid of what will happen if the conversation gets serious – better keep it on the weather or you’re going to end up on a subject you’re not prepared to handle! But the end result is that you use your small talk to build a wall. And that is ultimately wall-building is a failure of love.
But the exact same conversation – “How about that game?” or “Starting to feel like fall, isn’t it?” – can be a means of building a bridge towards someone. Maybe you don’t have an established relationship. Casual conversation is a first step towards turning a stranger into a friend. Maybe you do have a solid friendship, and sharing sports news is one of the things you enjoy together. A conversation that touches nothing deeper than Peyton Manning’s latest game can still be a way of moving towards your friend, strengthening and reinforcing your relationship. The bridge is there, even if you don’t walk all the way across it in this conversation.
So is it a sin for Christians to engage in small talk? No, not at all – provided it isn’t used to build a wall separating you from a person God’s called you to love. Use your words to tear down walls and build bridges – because that’s what God does for you.
--Josh Blount

Ephesians 4:30:
“And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption”

There is something very touching in this admonition, “Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God.” It does not say, “Do not make him angry.” A more delicate and tender term is used — “Grieve him not.” . . . For grief is a sweet combination of anger and of love. It is anger, but all the gall is taken from it. Love sweetens the anger, and turns the edge of it, not against the person, but against the offense.
--Charles Spurgeon